It’s not You, it’s Me. Really.

I met recently with two friends of mine who own a training company, M. and J., who shared with me the dynamics of their weekly meetings.  They are both two spirited men whose talents and abilities complement each other and yet they often disagree on how to best approach a particular client’s needs.  On my visit, they were describing how heated the discussions can get but neither one of them take it personally.  At their last meeting, both of them walked in already ticked off about something else that didn’t have anything to do with the topic they were discussing.  However, the discussion got quite heated and suddenly, both of them realized at the same time that they were mad about something else.  J. said, “I was angry when I walked in here this morning and this doesn’t have anything to do with you.”  M followed up with, “Hey!  Me too!” and much of the building tension was immediately diffused.

I thought this was a great example of Love Applied.  So many times we are frustrated about something outside of our current conversation and it will leak out.  That leaves the other party confused:  Is it me?  Did I do something?  We are story generators, and in the absence of information, we will make something up that reflects the doubts and concerns we carry around with us.  The biggest gift you can make is to let the other person you are talking to know what’s going on with you to help them not take things personally.  That’s Love Applied!

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