Ten Things II : Own your values

Don’t compromise your values in order to get someone to like you. Everyone has a different personality style, I’m a bit of a people-pleaser myself, but I think we all sometimes sacrifice our integrity in order to get approval. It took me longer to learn this one than I want to admit but eventually I did.

This applies particularly in romantic relationships. At some point you will be asked to do something you either aren’t ready for, comfortable with, or just isn’t the right thing to do. And by ‘right thing’ I don’t mean morally right, I mean a decision that you will feel good about tomorrow and the next day and the next.

It was hard to learn to say no, to challenge someone, to risk conflict. But a funny thing happened to me as I learned to do this: I earned respect. Respect that came for standing up for my values in a firm yet gentle way. And best of all, I got my own approval, instead of needing it from others.

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